Slashranger, "JDUDE I know you're mad with what happened last night, but you can't blame me, blame my Divas!"
JDUDE, "This Divas vs Playmates rivalry is getting out of hand, we need to-"
Jacob Makrin, "Listen, Zack Ryder has a winning streak, and I'm not happy about it! I want you to make it so Ryder will NEVER wrestle another match in this company again!"
Slashranger, "How about this, you're fired."
Jacob walks away.
Slashranger, "Anyway....want one?"
Velvet Sky pops out and hangs onto Slashranger's arm.
JDUDE, "Yeah, I do, I need to relaxe."
Angelina Love grabs JDUDE's arm.
Slashranger, "And keep her, you need it."
Jeff and Skullbuster come out.
Jeff, "Alright, let's get going, because Slammerfest is just two months away!"
Skullbuster, "I'm going for the UNW Title."
Jeff, "And little old me? The World Heavyweight Championship!"
Skullbuster, "Now, we've decided who's going after the other titles, for the InterContinental Title, CM Punk!"
Cult of Personality hits as CM Punk walks out.
Jeff, "The US Title? Randy Orton!"
Voices hits as Orton comes out.
'Buster, "The Hardcore Title? WHO'S NEXT?!"
Goldberg walks out to Won't Back Down by Eminem.
Jeff, "The Extreme Title? Who's first?"
Gillberg comes out to a remixed version of won't back down.
Gillberg, "I'm not going for it, HE IS!"
I am a Real American hits as Hulk Hogan comes out.
Hulk Hogan, "Whatcha gonna do, BROTHER?"
'Buster, "Next? The UNW Tag Team Titles, and the #1 contenders, Rey Mysterio and Sheamus!"
Jeff, "The World Tag Team Belts? Soaring Hawk and Ace Eagle!"
'Buster, "The Divas Title? Well, we both wanted someone in, so Slashranger threw someone in and it's a Fatal-4-Way, with Jack Maybeck, Sexay Girrl, Lita, and Winifred Major!"
Sexay walks out.
Sexay, "Who voted for me?"
Jeff, "I think you were maybe the one who was randomly thrown in?"
Hawk comes out.
Hawk, "Um, let's go-"
Sexay, "STOP! You've been babying me for weeks! You treat me like I'm 9 Years old, which is 14 years below my real age!"
Hawk, "I'll stop, ok-"
Hawk turns around.
Jack walks out and hangs to Breaker's arm.
Sexay, "No, who voted for me? Jack couldn't be voted for, and I'm sure Jeff voted for Lita."
Jeff, "You got that right."
Sexay, "So, Breaker either voted for either WiniFred-"
Sexay, "AHA! YOU voted for me."
Breaker turns red. Breaker, "Uh, well I, yeah."
Sexay walks down and gives Breaker a kiss on the cheek. Jack slaps Sexay, and the girls get into a catfight.
Breaker, "HEY! HEY! GIRLS!"
Slashranger walks out.
Slashranger, "Hm, AHA! At Satan's Playground, you two girls will fight for Breaker, in a Strip Submission match! Your opponent has to be stripped then be forced to tap out. See you then."
Breaker, "This is not good."
Jeff, "No it is not, my friend."
Booker T walks out for a match, but is blindsided by Mr. Kennedy.
Jacob Makrin comes out and helps in the attack on Booker. Booker's opponent Mark Henry comes out and helps attack.
Henry, "THIS MATCH HAS BEEN CANCELLED!!!"
Booker T, "I want it so that no more HWE Superstars are in here anymore."
Slashranger, "I can't change the past, or the present, and I have to consult with the Board of Directors to change the future."
Booker, "Vince McMahon was right, it WAS a bad idea signing with you!"
Match 2 & PromoEdit
Slashranger comes out.
Slashranger, "This is chaos, this is unbelievable, this is, is, UNSTOPPABLE!"
Slashranger smiles, "The superstars ordered the one thing they CAN order. A ratings war with HWE. Now, I didn't want to accept, but the Board insisted, and every Chairman and COO have their limits. So, to inaugurate the new Ratings war, we have internet sensations Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla from Smosh here!"
Ian Hecox, "Look Anthony! It's a bunch of Peeping Toms!"
Anthony Padilla, "Oh yay!"
The Smosh trademark "Shut Up!" is heard and Ian and Anthony come out.
Ian, "Hi! We're glad to be here, with all of these people, and don't forget to check out our newest video, 'The Ditto' Movie Trailer!"
Anthony, "That's right, and get our iShutUp App for the iPhone!"
Ian, "We'll see you again later tonight!"
Edge, "Well, we'll definitely see Smosh later tonight, and I welcome our newest Announce Table member, William Dite!"
William Dite, "Thanks Edge. And, we are joined by the other Announcers, which makes a World Record, by the way, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, and Michael Cole!"
Edge, "UNW has set the record of 5 for permanent announcers at an announce table."
Stone Cold Steve Austin walks out, followed by his Tag Partners Skullbreaker, and Hugh Jackman.
His opponents, Khali, Skullfacer, and Kyle Katara.
The bell rings, and Stone Cold hits a Stunner on Khali. He hits Stunner after Stunner, until Khali's down.
Khali gets out and hits a Brain Chop and a Punjabi Plunge.
Steve Austin tags Hugh, while Khali tags Skullfacer. Hugh smiles and tags Skullbreaker. Breaker and Skullfacer battle it out until Breaker chases Facer out of the ring. The ref begins the Count Out.
Breaker gets back in.
Facer's eliminated! Khali gets back in, and Breaker hits a Skullbuster. He locks in the Necksnapper, and Khali taps. Kyle gets in, but refuses to come into the ring unless Hugh comes in. The ref begins the count.
Steve Austin, Breaker, and Hugh celebrate in the ring. Jack Maybeck comes out, but Sexay comes out too. They get in a fight, and it goes to commercials.
Slashranger walks out.
Slashranger, "Alright, this was suggested by the Board, but I'm taking a Vote of Confidence."
Booker walks out with everyone else.
Booker, "You, sir, have not listened to us AT ALL unless you had to. So, I took the vote backstage, and here's how it turned out."
Booker turned around and left, starting a Walk Out. The announcers, cameramen, and superstars left.
Slashranger is left standing there while the show off the air.